By: Rachel Emmanuella Marlinang
Edited by: Rumaisha Ghina
The thing people associate the most with studying abroad is being homesick; the feeling of loneliness, longing to be home after days, months, or even years of being so far away, in a foreign country with an unfamiliar language, experiencing many unfamiliar things. Leaving one’s home country to be in APU is never an easy thing to do, but what’s harder is to actually survive from the minute you set foot at Japan’s airport. Surrounded by all the things you don’t know and never experienced before; it is only natural to miss home a little too much; missing the comfort of your own home, of having things and faces you’re familiar with.
In spite of how common homesickness has become, it’s not the same for everyone. The level of one’s homesickness might be very different from what others might feel; even if all of the feelings are valid. There’s nothing wrong with missing your country, but it’s not wrong either to not miss it at all. Bill, a 3rd-year second-semester student from Vietnam who has been here in Beppu for 2 years said that he misses his family from time to time, but apart from that, even after 2 years of being far away from his home, he never once experienced severe homesickness. “I adapt easily to new places so whenever I move to new places, I settle in for two or three days, and that’s it. To be quite honest, I never really felt homesick before,” said Bill. He then said that the feeling of homesickness varies according to the closeness of someone to their family. “I think if you have friends that are so close with their family, that they see their parents as their best friends who they share everything with, they will probably be more homesick than I do,” he adds.
Another story comes from Aydana, a 2nd-year third-semester student from Kazakhstan who said that she started to feel homesick just 2 weeks after she arrived. “At first, everything was interesting and new, I met so many new people and we would go out to eat together. But at some point, I started feeling homesick when I got sick and had to do everything by myself,” she explained. For some people, homesickness doesn’t stay too long at a time. It comes and goes as it pleases; you might be okay today, but you might be too homesick to do anything tomorrow. At a certain moment, like after you call your family back home as Aydana did, you might miss them more instead of feeling better.
Najwah, a 1st-year second-semester student from Indonesia who has been in Beppu for only 2 weeks gave a similar point of view, stating that “I have lots of things to do here, I’ve met so many new people, so I do miss my family to some extent but I haven’t really felt homesick yet.” She also shares that she misses her family more when for the first time she has to be away from home for Eid. One moment where she experienced severe homesickness occurred when she went through difficulties with studies and schoolwork, as her parents play an important role as her main support system.
But homesickness is much more than just about missing your family and friends. When asked about the things they miss the most about their country; “The food, of course, it’s way cheaper in Vietnam and basically, when you go out of the house, you can always have a sweet bowl of Pho just by walking a few minutes,” Bill uttered. “I can find anything I need there, I am also a native so it’s way easier. Plus, everything is more expensive here. I would love to go out to eat in cafes, but I can’t afford to go out too often,” Aydana said in a similar response. A much deeper view comes from Najwah who mentioned that she misses the familiarity she has back in Indonesia. “Here in Japan, we socialize with new people, therefore we have to be our best selves all the time. With our family and people we already know, we can let loose a little more. But here, we have to, in a sense, put on a little show and it’s tiring to always do so,” she said.
As the level of homesickness might be different from one another, so does the way of handling it. The one thing to be most grateful for is how advanced technology has made everything easier. Putting aside the time difference, no matter where they are, your family is always one call away. When everything feels a little too hard, you can always let them know about your day. Of course, there wouldn’t be anything that can replace what a hug feels like, but in devastation, just listening to their voice will help you beyond your expectation.
Bill, after being here for quite a long time, shares his journey of finding what eventually made Beppu feel a little more like home. “The most important thing you can do is to get yourself a friend who’s trustworthy, shares the same mindset and goal, and just someone you can always rely on; so you guys can help each other survive,” he said. Najwah, still trying to find a home in Beppu said that “Right now, the Indonesians are the one who makes Beppu feel more like home. Even though I don’t speak with them that often, it feels nice just to know that they’re there.”
If right now you’re far away from home or will be far away from home, this advice must sound familiar. Search for a community that suits you, spend time with friends downtown, and cook traditional meals from your country; even though this might work for some people, not all homesickness can be cured with this. There are people who choose to suppress the feelings and try to get used to them. But then again, for some, it might not work as well as others. That is why APU also has the Mental Wellness circle’s buddies team who are open to hearing your stories anytime you need someone to consult with. Salome, or who usually goes by Sally, a 2nd-year 4th-semester student from Kenya, who’s also a part of the buddies team, shares her insights on homesickness. She shared her story about talking to someone who seeks friends to talk to and find their way to the consultation team of the Mental Wellness circle. However, she said, apart from all the students who come to her, only 1 or 2 people talked about feeling homesick, and it’s never something too serious. The feelings are limited only to missing their families on some holidays or occasions, especially during the travel restrictions in the Covid-19 pandemic. However, in spite of the levels of existing homesickness, low or high, we can never disregard those feelings. We just have to know and understand this one thing, “It’s okay to feel like this, it’s a normal feeling and a part of growing up,” said Sally. As someone who has more experience in handling homesickness, she explained that “with peer support, it’s not necessarily what you tell someone to do nor giving advice but instead help your friend who’s feeling homesick to figure out their own solution and advice so that they can help themselves anytime they feel homesick.” She also said that sometimes all that people need are ears who are willing to listen, and that will be enough.
Homesick is tough, and will always be tough. But that doesn’t mean there’s no way you can get used to the feeling. It’s almost impossible to get rid of the feeling fully, but there are ways to get used to it and try to live with it. Sally, sharing her opinions, states that the easiest way to do so is to acknowledge and accept that you will feel homesick from time to time and let the feeling happen. Cry if you want to, whine, call anyone you want; do all of that. On the other hand, you also have to try to “adjust to the life that you have, integrate with the current situation while also trying to form new connections to replace the loss you feel from losing your old connections back in your home country,” she stated.
Maybe Beppu is nowhere near your home, and for some, it may take years to fully look at Beppu as their home; some might not. But from these people that have been trying hard to look for a home here in Beppu, we got the understanding that there will always be ways to feel better, there will always be tomorrow where you’ll just have fun and forget that you’re far from home. Homesickness is not something you should hide or be ashamed of; because you’re not alone. And the best angle to look at this view is from the perspective of understanding that besides you, in front of you, or behind you, there are people here fighting with you. And without knowing it, maybe you’ll find a home in them too.